Change. ♥

Monday, August 24, 2020



      

Hi. I am panicking. 💕"

Tomorrow is the first day of Fall classes this year and it is the first day of my very first internship.

I am mainlyyy excited but I also have anxiety disorder, so I am terrified.

I am thrilled because I am taking classes that I know I will love 📷 and that I was genuinely worried about being able to attend before the pandemic. These courses weren’t virtual before covid and I remember sitting there crying trying to figure out how I was going to be able to get my degree if I couldn’t go to class. The classes were originally scheduled for times when I had to be at work or when I would have been picking my daughter up from school. As soon as I saw that they would be virtual I went for it.

However, … I did not realize that they would be held at certain times. My other online classes always started on a Sunday at midnight and gave me exactly a week to finish the assignments.  
Easy, breezy, beautiful.
This time I will have to be on my computer virtually attending classes on weekdays from 12-4.

My daughter’s schooling is also virtual this year and she will have a very specific schedule too.

I am definitely 100/10 worried about the first couple weeks while I try to find a good balance between my classes, internship, and my daughters schooling.

NEXT - I got an internship! I will be a social media intern for a local YMCA. I am hoping the experience will help me find the right path to a career that doesn’t make me sad.

AND for the anxiety cherry on top! I am not working. As if being low-income, a full-time mom, and a college student wasn’t hard enough. Now I am a no-income college student who also has to be a part-time elementary teacher.

The thrift store I worked for laid me off back in March. When I wasn’t able to schedule hours because I have to be home to care for my daughter (during a pandemic), they took it as a “voluntary termination”.

Finding a part-time work from home job that can work around my classes right now is about that same as trying to find toilet paper back in April. GG me.

I have what I need to care for my daughter though, and that is all I can ask for while I work towards finding balance and a new source of income. Please wish me heckin' luck. I know I will need it.

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